I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
