how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i've created a new STD.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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