you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You were trust falling into bushes
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
