tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
