For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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