He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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