idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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