I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You need a sexual gate keeper
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
