I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Randomize
