Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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