Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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