his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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