Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
