new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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