shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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