with your own penis?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
