We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
