i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
