it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There was a lot of him and a little penis
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
