i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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