Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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