idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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