I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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