He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
