yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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