All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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