She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I've blown a few things in my day
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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