their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
