im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We need to rekindle our bromance
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize