is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
