he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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