Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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