my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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