its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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