: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
