ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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