Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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