It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
