My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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