it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
