i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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