just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
