Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
