all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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