I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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