i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
