Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
