Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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