Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
