Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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