im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
